honesty & floating animism

in-process thoughts free write unedited
floating larp being

Last night I spoke with NR Essendorf on skype.

I asked her to share a bit about her authentic relating event that I believe she will be doing over the next two days. She said it is a lot about honesty. They do a lot with eye contact as well. I thought about honesty in reference to truth. Federico Campagna mentions in his text that the technic reality (western tradition in modernity?) is about finding the object truth. Seeking an answer. Whereas more so in eastern philosophy (or which specifically is he reference, Shiism?), there is less of the pursuit of truth as an answer [find reference in text, not page 67 but later on in text].

For the sake of the conversation with NR Essendorf, I was thinking about approaching, or getting familiar with, honesty rather than truth or honesty as truth. Honesty is not about seeking or finding, its sort of a clearing of the way to the thing at hand. I said that honesty can be quite scary - to be alone and honest and to share whatever that is with others - or to clear the slate and be honest simultaneously with another - or with yourself, which is another really - if we think of the question of the ineffable thing [life] and then the site in-from which the knowledge to ask the question is [hyp
this may be terrifying, and difficult to recover because as well it may be beyond language or structured / familiar communication. And, how to not only express without words but how to express alternatively and indicate you are trying to communicate.

So she said honesty is a lot about presence. And that is may be scary because a lot of times it is indicative about the fact that honesty may indicate something that we didn’t expect - different parameters, or without parameters and no pre known way to orient. She said honesty can be scary because it often contradicts our preconceptions of what something should be.
The practice of honesty, one that a body could memorize like muscle memory. Not thinking about how to flip in water, ride a bicycle, hit the tennis ball.

my grandmother has dementia and is losing her memory fast. if she hears a song though she will dance intricately and intensely and steps perfection.
adoration for the wrinkled, up so late at the autumn festival in tiny village in greece.
aunt mary ann and uncle podraig and their irish songs and instruments.
bodies remembering patterns of movement, song, sensorium

Common emotional memory with[in] the physical, if considered within the singular person, often goes back to something traumatic or something missing (another body we can recall or yearn for)
Or where we hide our pains - how unknown the belly is, gastrologist (?).
How we know nothing about IBS. And even stretching, like the hips - that pose, with the shin squared at the top.
And hearing our own sounds of pain - or watching ourselves or others in pain - being in pain together.
Ok - so building a muscle memory for our emotions - not around abuse.
On being held, holding in waters.
Back to NR.
On Floating again.
[Data wilding] as [removal from the self as I and into the space between the ineffable and the infinite others].
[Data wilding] as form of movement memory for collective joy experience.
Floating must be confident.
Series of pools, infinity pools like bottomless coffins - cannot feel edges, expand according to your breath.
Chest breathers transitioning.

floating as responding not reacting
moving through pools

“what, exactly, does that human position come down to? That is the question raised when an individual finds itself face to face with allogenic bundles of affections and agentivity, such as an animal or unknown being in the forest, a parent long absent from one’s village, or a deceased person in a dream. The universal humanity of beings - the “cosmic background humanity” that makes every species of being a reflexive genre or humanity - is subject to a principal of complementarity, given that it is defined by the fact that two different species that are necessarily human in their own eyes can never simultaneously be so in the other’s” (151-152, E.V. de Castro, Cannibal Metaphysics).

Floating Animism...working from
"...an account of embodied meaning that emerges as structures of organism-environment interactions or transactions."
(xii, Preface, The Meaning of the Body, Mark Johnson)🝏